THE REALITY BEHIND REALITY WEDDING SHOWS

If you're planning a wedding, chances are you've watched at least one reality television wedding show. Whether it's about finding that perfect dress, pulling together a wedding on a budget, dealing with overall craziness or the mishaps that come in the form of a wedding, reality shows can soon become somewhat of a guilty pleasure. Drama, confusion, opinions, cat fights, tons of action...It's like a train wreck from which you just can't peel your eyeballs. And for some couples, having their wedding on the boob tube for all to see, having that spotlight on their big day, is icing on the cake (pardon the pun).

But there are some things that -- as a couple about to spend a crap load of money on their "big day"-- you need to consider before signing up for a reality wedding show. As someone who comes from a Publicity background, I understand how the media works. And the impact it can have on you and those who watch you on the little screen.

First, you need to understand that these shows need an audience. To generate an audience and to keep that audience producers need to give them a reason for coming back week after week. So what's the best way to entertain an audience on a continuous basis?

And loads of it.

If you want your wedding day to be drama-free, opening your wedding for all to see may not be the best way to go about it. Because that is what will likely be highlighted. Not all the beautiful, special moments that bring tears to one's eyes. The Drama will take front and center. And for some shows, where there is no drama, they will create it.  If that doesn't sound like what you want for your big day, rethink your idea of the spotlight.

If you don't take criticism well, even in its slightest form, you may want to take notice of how you and your wedding will come across on a reality wedding show. Not everyone will think that being an emotionally-challenged Bride or Groom is cute or funny. Not everyone will think that those remarks you made about someone else's wedding was justified or hell, even nice. And not everyone will think your wedding was as beautiful as you do. So brace yourself for the tweets, the Facebook shares, the comments, the snickers and possibly even the backlash. You can't control an audience's perception of you, your family or your wedding once it's on air.

Remember that when you're watching reality wedding shows you're not necessarily getting the entire picture. Bad things happen (and even amazing things) that end up on the cutting room floor. Maybe that bitchy comment you made was in reference to something not shown on air. Perhaps that breakdown you had was the end result of months of bickering or, ahem, drama that was cut from the final reel. You can't defend nor explain your actions, comments or how things unfold nor can you control how everything is portrayed. So what gets aired may not be entirely accurate and there's nothing you can say or do about it.

If you love being in the spotlight, couldn't care less what others think of you or your wedding and seriously can't wait to have your wedding viewed, judged and loved or hated on national TV then reality shows are a great fit for you. If you're reading this blog post and your eyebrows have shot up even once, reality wedding shows may not be the best route.

Now, I'm not trashing reality wedding shows. I too have watched a few from time to time. But I do believe that couples need to put aside the "TV Star" glamour factor when deciding whether or not to put their wedding out there for all to see and focus on the bigger picture. Because, couples need to remember that every time they watch a reality show and make judgements or comments...even a tiny bit...it could be their wedding that's facing the same...er...reality.

And... cut.