ET LØFTE EVENTS

PUTTING THE ‘WE’ BACK IN WEDDINGS

© Melissa Nowakowski 2008

So often couples get caught up in the details of their planning and wow-ing their guests at their wedding that the very reason for the celebration gets somewhat tossed aside.

A Wedding is a celebration of your marriage to each other – a celebration of the day that you and your love join together and embark on a new life together -- the merging of two completely different people into one unit. That being said, here are some tips on how you can incorporate the ‘we’ into your wedding.

PERSONA CHIC:

Focus your wedding on your personal style and taste as a couple rather than on the latest trend or what you’ve seen in magazines. Whether it is centering your theme around places you have been together, having your favourite drink served, having your wedding set in your favourite colours, etc. making the celebration about the two of you and not how awe-struck your guests will be keeps the celebration in focus.

SETTING ASIDE A LITTLE "WE" TIME:

Carve out 15 minutes to a half hour for yourselves in your wedding timeline. It can happen during the cocktail hour, just after the ceremony, during the dancing, or any point in your wedding that suits you best. Take this time to [i]privately[/i] connect and revel in the fact that you are now husband and wife. Not only will it give you a brief break from the harriedness around you, but it will insert a slice of romance into your day that [i]only the two of you[/i] get to experience. Regardless if you achieve this by having separate transportation from your wedding party, arranging your head table bistro-style with a table set just for the two of you or sneaking off to the bridal suite, taking even the briefest of moments for yourselves will add that extra spark to your cloud nine.

YOUR FIRST DANCE:

The First Dance is [i]your dance[/i] that conveys the two of you as a couple so make it reflective of your joint personalities. Salsa, waltz, disco, groove or just gaze into each other’s eyes. Whatever you choose to do making that first dance “your dance” will surely put a personal stamp on your night.

SOMETIMES "I DO" JUST DOESN'T CUT IT

When it comes time for your speech as Bride and Groom and you have finished thanking your guests, vendors, wedding party and families, turn to one another and say what you’ve been wanting to say all day. Forget that there is anyone else in the room -- say what you feel and toast to one another. Not only do you deserve it, but more often than not you don’t get the opportunity to voice all that passion when standing on the altar. Another idea – a fun one that includes your guests in your special toast -- is to tell your guests how the two of you met and what your first thoughts were of one another. A cute antidote like this will not only entertain your guests (not to mention letting some of them in on how you met!) but it will bring back a flash of memories reminding you of how your love took you to this point.

YOUR CULTURE BY ANY OTHER NAME...

No matter how wild, wacky or weird your cultural traditions may seem, your culture is still a part of you. Regardless if you are 1st, 2nd or 10th generation or how little of your culture you practice, incorporating even one small element of your culture into your wedding defines the backgrounds that you are blending to carry on for generations to come. If you find that even one of your cultural traditions don’t quite fit the “feel” of your wedding or is too complex, consider other ways to incorporate it. This can be as simple as having a traditional pastry laid out for your guests to pick up on their way out of the reception, serving a traditional “signature” beverage for your guests to try or having a framed photo of each set of grandparents in their home country resting on a table.

"FIVE HUNDRED TWENTY FIVE THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED MINUTES..."

Showing the stages of your courtship from beginning to present day is a great way to incorporate the “we” factor in your wedding. Whether it’s through a slideshow, a photobook or scrapbook or a “tree of life”, not only does this provide amusement for your guests during the cocktail hour but it’s something that the two of you can keep and look upon long after your wedding day.

"THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVOURITE THINGS..."

Show the evolution and merging of your personalities by having a table with “his”, “her”, and “us” favourite items. Have three or four items for each section which can include her favourite CD, his favourite sport like a golf ball, her ballet slippers, your airline tickets to a few countries you’ve visited together, etc. Not only will this table provide nostalgia for your friends who know you best, but it shows how your personalities have changed to complement each other’s “favourite things”.

“SOMETHING OLD" AIN'T JUST FOR THE BRIDE!

Carrying or incorporating family heirlooms into your wedding can represent more than just the joining of your families...it can be a reflection of the bloodline from which you come. A handkerchief carried with you in case you cry, a pocket watch that belonged to your grandfather, a necklace or cuff links that your mother or father wore on their wedding day, a cake and knife server set passed down for generations…any piece of your bloodline that you keep with you on your wedding day will remind you from where you’ve come and will add something special to the term “the joining of families”

Whatever creative way you choose to do it, putting the "we" back in weddings will not only make your wedding day more "you" but will provide reminders at every turn of who you were, who you are and who you will be together and always.