THE BRIDAL SHOWER
(WHAT, WHEN, WHO AND STEPPING OUTSIDE THE LIVING ROOM)
When one thinks of a Bridal Shower, images of a bunch of women sitting around someone's living room unwrapping gifts and playing games that follow the theme of weddings come to mind.
My how things have changed.
Bridal Showers have come a long way since those days. While most Bridal Attendants still lean towards the living room-scenario as the most cost efficient Bridal Shower, many Bridal Attendants have begun to think outside the living room or incorporate details that cater more to the Bride's style and personality.
But first things first. There is often confusion over many of the details pertaining to Bridal Showers. I am going to clear up that confusion and give a peek at some truly unique Bridal Shower ideas.
Is it Mandatory to Throw a Bridal Shower?
The answer, which surprises most gals, is no.
The history of the Bridal Shower (the short short short version) is that once upon a time a Dutch girl was denied marriage to the love of her life because he was poor. If the girl chose to marry the poor boy, her father would deny her a dowery and any emotional or financial support. The girl , as saddened as she was, chose to marry the poor boy anyhow. The village, learning of the girl's plight and touched by her story, gathered together and each brought an item with which the couple could start their lives together. This gathering turned into a party, the father relented when he saw how many from his community supported his daughter's decision and all ended happily ever after.
See where this is going? The point to having a Bridal Shower is to provide the Bride with support that will aid her in her new life with her husband. Is it mandatory? Absolutely not. It's TRADITION. Some Brides truly want a shower, others are on the fence about them but some Brides are uncomfortable with being in the limelight and would prefer to not have one at all. The best thing to do is to have a discussion with your Bride to find out if she would like one or not before planning a tradition that she may not want. In fact, nowadays some brides are even expressing their wishes as to what kind of Bridal shower they want to have!
Who Throws the Bridal Shower?
This can get tricky as culture can get in the way of etiquette. In some cultures the mothers of the Bride and/or Groom feel that it is their duty to throw their darling daughter or daughter-in-law a good, old-fashioned shower. But in fact, in the general wedding-world it is improper to have either of the mothers host the shower. This is because if the mothers host the shower it might be viewed by some as them simply trying to get as many gifts for their daughter as they can or simply a bragging-session about their daughter getting married.
This doesn't mean that the mothers shouldn't be involved. The involvement of the mothers is always encouraged, but it is actually the Maid of Honour who is responsible for hosting the Bridal Shower. Bridesmaids, of course, can offer emmense support for the MOH -- especially when many costs are involved -- and often very much want to be involved.
When should the Shower take place?
Most gals opt to have the shower within a month or two prior to the wedding day. Etiquette states that Bridal Showers should be held 3 - 4 weeks after the wedding invitations have been sent, but showers have been held anywhere from six months prior to the wedding to the actual week of the wedding day (this is a great and most convenient option if the bulk of wedding guests are from out-of-town as they will already be in the area -- it will save them from double trips).
Who should be invited?
Do not -- I repeat -- do NOT invite anyone who has not been invited to the wedding. Regardless of how close that particular person is to the Bride, if she hasn't been invited to the wedding, she should not be invited to the shower. It's just plain bad taste. Why would you invite someone (not to mention expect them to contribute or purchase a gift) when they weren't given the courtesy of being invited to the wedding itself?
Not sure who should or shouldn't be invited? Ask the Bride's mother, sister, aunt or anyone close to her for a guestlist or even better, ask the Bride herself.
STUCK FOR A UNIQUE IDEA?
There's no rule that states that a Bridal Shower has to take place in the MOH's home, that it has to take place in an afternoon or that the events have to involve games, food and the unwrapping of gifts. Let's face it, given the wide age range of women that will be at the party, some women are just not that into games and the like. Below are some examples of unique shower themes that go beyond the norm.
THE SPICY SHOWER:
Host a late afternoon shower in someone's party room or a room at a community centre (or heck, if you have the cash host it at an actual salsa club). Serve Tapas in combination with sangrias and mojitos. Have a long table brimming with craft materials such as cardstock, linen paper, popsycle sticks, beautiful beads, feathers, etc. As the guests arrive have them sit at the table and create decorative paper fans. These will serve as the guests' takeaways. Then, serve your tapas and once everyone has eaten, host the gift opening. Afterwords, hire a salsa or belly dance instructor for an hour to teach the women the sultry art of salsa or belly dancing. The women will have a blast as they partner up with each other to learn some swankylatin grooves or will bust a gut (literally) learning sexy belly dance routines.
THE FOODIE SHOWER:
If the Bride is a 'foodie', rent out a room at a cooking school or college. Draft up a "menu" of easy but tasty appetizers and desserts, purchase the necessary ingredients and print each recipe. Once everyone has arrived, devide the guests in groups of four (bridal party and Bride included) and have them create one of the dishes/desserts from the menu using the ingredients provided. Determine which group makes which dish/dessert by having them draw the dish names from a hat. When all dishes have been created, place them on a table and let everyone enjoy their culinary experience. Because each member of the group will have a task to make the dish, the preparation time will be less than usual and the guests will not only have fun cooking but will learn a new recipe! For the takeaways or 'favours', create little booklets with each recipe that was made.
THE SERENITY SHOWER:
Let's be honest, what woman doesn't like to be pampered? There are some spa companies that provide 'demonstration' type parties wherein they provide spa services for groups and then provide the opportunity for the women to purchase the products used afterwords. There's no sales pitch -- these companies simply provide the demonstrations for word-0f-mouth marketing. There are a few makeup companies (similar to Avon or Mary Kay) that do this as well or there are esthetician/makeup students that would jump at the chance to do the same to gain experience. That being said, create a "serenity shower" by inviting your guests over for an afternoon of pampering. This type of shower is best for groups of 20 or less. Have one room dedicated to the spa services, one room dedicated to makeup and another room dedicated to tasty treats and beverages that the guests can enjoy while awaiting their turn. Purchase a number of the spa and makeup products, create two prize baskets and have a draw for each.
THE FASHIONISTA SHOWER:
Is the Bride a fashion diva? If so, take the traditional bridal shower and accessorize! Ask your guests to wear their most stylish-DAY outfit to the party. Host the gathering at a unique yet fashionable venue such as the Bata Shoe Museum or the Design Exchange and arrange for a tour for your guests.
Or hire an image consultant and once all guests have arrived, have the consultant give a mini-seminar on looking your best or the up and coming fashion trends.
To liven things up afterwords, host a project-runway game: have a pile of different fabrics, clothing items and accessories (such as hats, scarves, bracelets, purses, etc) on a few tables throughout the room. Divide your guests into groups of three (2 being the designer and one being the model) and giving the groups a very short time limit, instruct them to put together a complete and fashionable outfit. Watching the guests run amok trying to put together a fashionable outfit with mismatched items is tons of fun for the Bride. Once the time is up, host a fashion show wherein the "model" parades down a "catwalk' and the Bride chooses the most fashionable outfit. That group wins a prize that is fashion related -- whether it's a pile of fashion magazines, a basket of coordinated accessories, etc.
THE HOLLYWOOD SHOWER:
Perhaps the simplest and most low-key of showers, the Hollywood Shower mixes the glam of Hollywood with ultimate comfort. Deck out the living room or family room with comfy seating, big fluffy pillows, movie posters and scattered "trash mags" like Star, US Weekly and In Touch Weekly. Line the foyer with a red carpet. As guests arrive, hand out a self-made crossword puzzle with Hollywood and celebrity trivia. The first three people to complete the crossword successfully win a DVD. Another game option is to divide the guests into two groups and play a game of Hollywood pictionary or Hollywood Charades. Then, treat your guests to bowls of buttery popcorn, M&Ms and other movie theatre-type goodies and curl up for a good old fashioned movie (or two) and trashy celebrity magazines. Think slumber-party-by-day.
THE SHOWER OF SOPHISTICATION:
Everything about this shower is chic -- from the cocktail party style to the food to the metropolitan atmosphere. This shower works best in the evening. Ask your guests to dress in their most stylish outfits and come to the shower which is held in a private room at a trendy and chic restaurant with dark wood and tons of candles. As guests arrive, pass out a "martini menu". Pass hors d'oeuvres and have a martini-tasting with a seasoned pro. Or, if martinis aren't your thing -- a wine tasting with a professional. Takeaways can be martini glasses filled with flavourful Jelly-Belly jellybeans in your choice of colour with a gumdrop on a toothpick (in place of an olive) and wrapped in cellophane. To add some excitement afterwords, have the young at heart change venues by heading off to a dance club.
THE SUNNY-SIDE-UP SHOWER:
For this choose a restaurant or room that is bright and airy or a patio that is exposed to the sun or garden and hold the shower mid-morning. Have your guests come to the shower in their prettiest wide-brimmed hat and 'Sunday-best'. Upon arrival serve each guest a mimosa and once all have arrived, toast the Bride. Then host a classy brunch buffet of eggs, bacon, sausages, pancakes, fruit, danishes, crepes, etc. and a range of beverages such as juice, coffee, tea and mimosas. If games are desired, have a table with a wide variety of different potted plants and flowers. The guest who can name the most of the plants/flowers gets to take them home. Or host a grand-scale poker or similar card game. Takeaways can be miniature bud vases.
Additional Resources:
There's no reason for a Bridal Shower to feel like a tupperware party. Get creative -- after all there are no specific rules (other than etiquette of course) -- and most importantly have fun!
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